There comes a time in every person's life when they doubt what they are doing (or what they plan to do) and thinking. Of course, I am one of those lovely people who is constantly riddled with self-doubt, so this really is nothing out of the ordinary. I have sort of reinvented myself in the past 6 months or so. Really, I'm in the process of doing so...so self-doubt seems reasonable. It's just what I've been doubting lately.
I've been in the process of applying to grad schools. It is slow going, and I have all kinds of anxiety about writing my personal statement. I'm afraid that the admissions coucils will see through my statement to the insecure girl of average intelligence that I really am. Plus, I don't have these glorious ambitions or extremely well-defined academic interests. Also, I'm beginning to wonder whether I should really do this now. Maybe I should go abroad now? But, I kind of think that's the fear talking.
All the doubt effects the way I interact with people, especially guys. I can remember times when I have been unbelieveably confident, and I think that was probably attractive to guys. Now, I can be confident except when I'm interested in a guy. I mean it's worse than the usual butterflies. Maybe I'll just have to wait it out...and continue to expect a dry spell in the guy department. Besides, does this mess really need another person thrown into the mix?
And I still don't know what to do about a Halloween costume.
No comments:
Post a Comment