sundry thoughts

Spring Break sped by altogether too quickly. I did have fun meeting up with different friends, but I did not get to do as much SXSW stuff as I'd hoped. In fact I successfully attended only one show--The Shout Outlouds at Mohawk on Wednesday. I missed Spoon on Thursday because I realized I had too much work to do, and my attempts to attend shows on Friday and Saturday resulted in long lines and a failure to get in. Nonetheless, the break allowed me time to see lots of people and to get a minimal amount of research done. 

I've noticed on Facebook recently that several people I've known since high school are pregnant. This is still just so bizarre to me. Of course, I'm happy for them. It's just strange to see people my age (or younger) having children already. I suspect that I will not have children (if ever) for another 6 years or more. I'm just having too much fun being myself and doing what I want to have children already. (Let alone that I am almost perpetually single.) I guess that is just my way of doing things.  

I've noticed to my shame that I still worry about being cool sometimes. Not terribly often. This past week was a good example, though. For some reason I was just really frustrated with my own inability to make SXSW happen for myself. (I was especially depressed when I couldn't get in to see M. Ward.) I guess I was disappointed that I didn't get to see the shows, but I also was worried about having to tell some of my friends that I didn't really do that much (despite my grand plans). It made me feel very unhip and pathetic, which is completely stupid. I'm fine with it now, but I am kind of amazed by how insecure I was feeling.

I also have been feeling very insecure about dating. I haven't been on a date in a while, and I recently learned that someone I was crushing on (and who I thought liked me) is in fact seeing someone else right now. Of course, this is disappointing. I know it's normal to be disappointed, but I think my confidence has been a little shaky this semester as it is, so this recent discovery doesn't help. I just want to get back to the place I was last semester, before Adam, when I was happy being single and not worried about guys. I'll get there, I guess. 

On a brighter note, the trip to Europe and NYC is definitely ON. I've got the tickets and a tentative itinerary. I'm really excited! And scared to spend all my money!! If you have suggestions of places to see in Germany or France (or other parts of Europe), let me know!

Ok. Enough whining and emoting. Time for my morning jog.